A Boys Camp Story

The NCCG provides therapeutic camp programs for bereaved girls, boys and families. These camps are an important complement to the centre’s specialist bereavement counselling services for children and adults. Camp experiences are provided free of charge to all participants, funded by donations and volunteering by NCCG staff and trained support workers.

The Adventure Camps for Bereaved Boys bring together boys aged 8-15 years who have been recently bereaved by the death of their parent. These camps are a chance for the boys to meet others of a similar age whose parent has died, explore and share their experience with grief, challenge themselves and enjoy some fun outdoors.

Grief can be a very isolating experience for children. It is common to feel a significant emotional and personal gap from their established friends and community. The camps help them to see they are not alone, that other children have had a similar experience and allows them to spend time with people who understand what they are going through.

Grief can also deeply undermine a bereaved child’s self-confidence and resilience. The activities held at the camps, including physical challenges, games and clinical therapeutic programs are professionally designed to help rekindle a child’s self-confidence, build a sense of safety, strengthen their resilience and give them new personal skills to manage the grief.

 An Adventure Camp in action

One recent boys camp was held over a 3-day long weekend at a ranch in Cobbitty, South-west Sydney. The camp was led by professional NCCG counsellors, supported by volunteer ‘Big Brothers & Sisters’ – past NCCG graduates who return to support younger bereaved children.

Activities held over the three days included: physical challenges such as a giant rope swing and rock climbing, team sports and group games, therapeutic activities such as art projects, a scavenger hunt and group sessions where children share stories of their parent who has died and practical strategies for managing the natural and often challenging elements of grief in day-to-day life. The last evening of the camp was completed with a bush campfire, where children and counsellors shared precious stories remembering parents who have died.

Stories from the camp

The NCCG camps also provide opportunities for the children to share their grief and personal stories in a group setting. This complements and reinforces individual sessions children have with their counsellor. For many children, the death of a parent is so overwhelming and isolating that they simply cannot speak about it. One of our counsellors, Scott, recalled a heart-warming outcome from this camp:

“We had a little boy who is about 9 years-old and we did a scavenger hunt. We hid things around the property, specific things that we could use as metaphors for the kids to use on their grief journey. A packet of tissues demonstrated that it’s okay to cry. There was a little plastic microphone – representing it’s okay to reach out for help, things like that.

This little boy was quite impacted by the scavenger hunt and his dad said that he regularly refers to that list of items and their meaning at home.

Dad said he plans on typing it up on nice paper and framing it for his son so he can refer to it when he is struggling with communicating.

Those simple items provide him with a framework for communicating his feelings – where otherwise he would remain silent and shut down.”

Camp leader and NCCG counsellor Carolyn also recounted that over the course of the weekend they noticed an incredible transformation with the boys. They seemed to go from nervous and shy boys, to outgoing and active young people.

“All the boys engaged really well with the therapeutic activities at camp – which is a great outcome considering this might have been the first time they have ever talked about their mum or dad who has died and shared memories with other people who understand. How brave they were!

Most of the boys seemed to particularly love the ‘adventure’ components – at the ranch we were lucky to experience the giant rope swing on the Saturday morning and rock climbing on the Sunday morning. Despite the hot weather, the boys and the big brothers and sisters all got involved and encouraged each other.

While the main focus tends to be on the organised activities, the incidental conversations witnessed between the boys and the team, shared during free time, were particularly powerful and so lovely as well. Many new friends were made.” said Carolyn.

Feedback from the boys

Boys who attended this camp wrote of their camp experiences in their post-camp surveys:

One boy wrote, “this camp has been helpful by showing me ways to deal with grief and know that I’m supported”

Another wrote, “the camp has made me understand that I’m not alone and I have learnt a lot, made lots of great new friends and had so much fun”.

And one of the older boys wrote, “I’ve been vulnerable (at this camp) and told other boys and adults about the difficulties of my grief and shared memories of my deceased parent. It has showed me that there are boys who I can talk to and relate to as they are also bereaved. It has also made me aware of the amount of support which surrounds me at the NCCG”.

A dynamic memorial

These camps are all part of the NCCG’s Peter Coupland Adventure Program. Peter Coupland was a valued and dearly loved counsellor, friend, colleague and Board Member of the NCCG over a period of 15 years until his untimely death at the age of 49 from leukaemia, in May 2015.

Physically strong and emotionally courageous, Peter was an adventurer. He was known for his inspirational work and influence in the area of bereavement care.

Introducing Adventure Weekends, as part of the Centre’s overall program for young people, Peter’s hope was that every child who took part would be encouraged to confront their fears and build resilience.

Himself a bereaved child, Peter was a great role model, demonstrating how to be engaged in life, despite living with the pain of early loss.

When deciding on a suitable memorial to honour Peter’s contribution to the Centre and to life, the words ‘dynamic, fun, wholesome, challenging, stimulating, safe, sensitive, a true friend, inspiring and thoughtful’ came to mind.

The NCCG’s thriving Peter Coupland Adventure Program is testament to Peter’s inspiration and the therapeutic potential of adventure and specialist care for bereaved children.